OOTD

I love shopping and buying new clothes but if your a mommy like me then you know those days of strolling through the mall walking into all your favorite stores and just browsing until you find that perfect outfit are few and far between. Nowadays when I go to the mall, it’s a dang adventure, I have to know exactly what I’m looking for, and get in and out before the littlest one has a melt down. My purse is stocked with a sippy cup, snacks, blanket, pacifier, and the occasional toy hoping to prolong my sons contentment in the stroller for as long as possible. Forget meeting a friend anymore to shop, I need to be in and out of the mall in record time. Oh ya and don’t forget we have to coordinate our shopping time around babies nap schedule, you wouldn’t dare go to the mall without a nap in tow! With that being said I get a lot of my shopping done online, and not just for myself but when it comes to all purchases. I just find it so much less stressful to be shopping at home, in the quiet of my own house, and usually wait until Kaiden is napping. I wait until items I’ve been eyeballing are on sale or I wait for “free shipping” deals. I hate paying shipping, is that a deal breaker to anyone else?

Today I wanted to share with you all the cutest online boutique store that I found on Instagram, it’s called Modern Vintage Boutique they have the cutest clothes ever and for a reasonable price. I love that they style every outfit with shoes and accessories, sometimes I struggle with how to put pieces together. With the holidays coming up I decided to splurge on myself for once and update my wardrobe a little bit.

 
Faux Leather Leggings Express
 


Grinch Kabobs

It’s that time again, holiday parties everywhere!! This particular party was for Girl Scouts and Kirra needed to bring a treat. I feel like a majority of holiday parties are filled with nothing but cakes and cookies, don’t get me wrong I love all the sweets during the holidays, but I wanted to bring something a little different yet still yummy to eat. For my inspiration I went to where else…Pinterest, and found this adorable recipe for Grinch Kabobs.

 
 
Not only is this recipe perfect for the holiday season but Kirra had a great time helping out and putting it together! Super easy and one less thing for us moms to do!
 
 
Grinch Kabobs
 
 
Ingredients:
 
  • Green Grapes
  • Strawberries
  • Bananas
  • Mini marshmallows
  • Toothpicks

 
 
Directions:
  1. Slice bananas
  2. Cut stem end off of strawberries (to make it look like a “hat”)
  3. Place kabobs on toothpicks with grape, banana slice, strawberry, then end with a marshmallow
Have fun making this with your little ones and enjoy!



Rough patches

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel like life isn’t going as planned? You continue to ask yourself where did I go wrong? Am I being punished? These last couple months have been so rough for me, I feel like I can’t catch a break, and now I think all these life changes are now manifesting itself into me getting sick. This past week I have had the worst headaches that literally last all day, from the second I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I finally fall asleep. I’ve never had headaches so bad that no amount of medication will take the edge off, where I literally feel drunk because I’m so light headed. It has really been interfering with my life and it’s such a downer. I really feel it’s a combination of both stress, some other life changing events, and then the aftermath of my miscarriage.

 Just a quick little update on my body/mind after miscarriage, emotionally I feel like I’m still a wreck! I still have to fight back the tears if anyone asks how I’m doing or if my current pregnant friends have great news to share with me. Don’t get me wrong I’m beyond excited for all my friends that are currently pregnant and I wish them nothing but the best but I can’t help but think how far along I would be, I’d probably be showing now, and we would most likely already know the gender of the baby. It just really sucks to not be at that point anymore and I still can’t help but wonder why and what went wrong? I really don’t know how long this feeling is going to last? When am I not going to want to burst into tears at the thought of my baby that could be? It probably doesn’t help that 2 months later I am still experiencing the miscarriage, yes that’s right, I’m still bleeding, and have been bleeding for almost 8 weeks now non stop. I’m just so frustrated, when is this going to end? Am I still experiencing a miscarriage, am I having a period, is this hormonal bleeding, did I have another miscarriage? So many unanswered questions that can’t be answered that only make me more and more stressed and depressed everyday! I just want to move on with my life! I just want to forget this happened and start fresh! Why do I have to have a constant reminder everyday of my loss? Where is that light at the end of the tunnel? I just really need to see a glimpse of it, I don’t know how much longer I can take of this. I feel like my body just hates me right now! This constant state of bleeding is probably a contributor to my headaches. I already have such low blood pressure so I’m sure with everything going on it’s even lower now and not to mention my iron level has probably dramatically decreased. I’m going to need a dang blood transfusion by the time my body gets it together! Gees! I’ve made it a point to start taking my prenatal vitamins again, I’m taking an extra iron supplement, and then I’m back to drinking my Shakeology again. I need all the vitamins and nutrients I can get right now. I feel like my body is so weak and unhealthy right now and I need to get back on track. I haven’t been working out due to my slight depression, I just don’t have the desire or motivation right now but I know that I need to get back on that wagon. Working out will definitely help my stress level decrease and I remember when I was working out consistently I felt so much better mentally not just physically. I’m going to slowly start getting back into my workouts here in the next couple days and then the typical cliché thing to do…but my New Years resolution is to get back into shape and be the healthiest I’ve ever been! What are your guys New Years resolutions I’d love to hear?

I found this picture on Pinterest that I’d thought I’d share, it’s little pictures like this that can sometimes be very inspiring and help you get through your day. I just love Pinterest, it’s the best! Enjoy!

Blended families

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!! We had a really great time with family and friends but unfortunately this year my lil family was incomplete. Every year my ex and I rotate who my daughter is with on Thanksgiving and this year she was with her dad. I’m sure there are a lot of you out there that can relate to me on this one.
 
You want to be excited about the holidays but then again at the same time you feel emptiness because you’re not able to share this special day with your loved one.  It’s really hard when you walk in the door and your nieces come running up to you so excited to see you but then instantly are disappointed when they learn their cousin won’t be joining them today. Holidays almost feel like a constant reminder of where your life went wrong. I can recall countless holidays of me crying before it’s time to leave the house because of the guilt and sadness I feel. I’m sure it’s not only hard on me but my daughter as well. It’ll be nice when we get to the point where she can choose where she’d like to be, but then again that could just open up a whole different can of worms for me.
                I remember before I left Kirra’s dad the one thing that kept me in the relationship was HER! I wanted to give my daughter a great life and felt so guilty for tearing apart her family. Here she was, this innocent baby and she never asked to be brought into this life. She never asked to be taken from the only home she’d ever known and have to go back and forth every day, split between two parents. I was so worried she’d be scarred from our breakup and grow up to be bitter and not believe in Love or fairytale romances. I felt like I was starting her off on such a wrong foot and she’d feel so abandoned or if the break up was her fault. Even now after 4 years I worry our relationship isn’t what it could have been. Now that I’m remarried and have another child with my husband I worry that she’ll feel envious of her brother and the fact that his parents are still together and he doesn’t have to go back and forth all the time. I contemplated staying in the relationship and sacrificing my own happiness for her happiness. As a mother you will do anything for your child and so I was willing to live a life of lies in order to give her what I thought was what was best.  I really hope and pray when she gets older she’ll understand why I had to leave and understand I did what I had to do and know it was  for her!
                A good thing to remember is, kids are a lot more intuitive then we think, you may be fooling everybody else around you but a child will always see through you and see the pain your hiding.  This honestly helped me make my final decision; I didn’t want my child growing up thinking it was ok to be in a relationship like this. If it’s not ok for your daughter, sister, or friend to be in a relationship like this then why is it ok for you? That question will always stick with me and was one of the key factors of my breakup. So I took that leap and brought huge change to my daughter’s life, only time will tell but I have to keep reminding myself I did the right thing for her and I, because of me she will know what’s it’s like to be in a healthy relationship and she won’t make the same mistakes that I did. So on Christmas when I’m feeling down because she’s at her dads for the holiday I need to remind myself, I gave her the greatest gift of all, I gave her a life of truth, happiness, and healthy relationships!!