Don’t be envious of people on the internet

Do you ever find yourself envious of others on the internet? Whether it’s from a blog, Facebook, or Instagram do you ever sit and wish you were lucky enough to have their life? I know I’m definitely guilty of this on numerous occasions! Why do we sit and do this though? How many times can we be told that Facebook for instance is only someone’s highlight reel. Do you ever see girls posting about the huge fight they just had with their husband leaving them home alone crying? No! Instead you see pictures of them going out having a great time all kissy face! Do you ever see girls taking selfies with no makeup on and hair is a disaster because they just woke up? No! Instead girls only take selfies when they feel their makeup and hair is on point! If we know this to be true then why can’t we remember this when scrolling our news feed? I sit and remind myself this all the time yet every day I find myself wishing, “I was as skinny as that girl”, “my husband would buy me a Louis Vuitton purse”, or that “I could travel the world visiting exotic locations”. The truth most likely is though, and not to be stereotypical because this isn’t all girls but that “skinny” girl is 21 years old, has never had kids, and gets paid to work out in the gym a couple hours a day. That girl whose husband bought her the Louis Vuitton purse is actually giving her a gift hoping she’d take him back after he told her he wanted to get a divorce last month and moved out. And that girl who travels the world visiting exotic locations is a “model” and uses men to get what she wants, there is no actual love in her life it’s all a mirage. Some of this may be a little dramatized but I also guarantee that some of the “fitness models” who I used to follow on Instagram this was actually real life.
 I’ll never forget about 5 years ago this model I had such a girl crush on her. She was absolutely beautiful and not just pretty but a natural beauty, she always had the cutest clothes, hair and make-up always looked amazing, she drove a BMV, always had a new designer bag, was on the covers of multiple magazines, and would date the hot Motocross guys. I always remember thinking, “I wonder if I had chosen a different path in my life such as not having my daughter at 23 years old how different my life could have been”? I followed this girl’s life on Facebook for a couple years; constantly envious of how her life was turning out and at the time I was a single mom of a 3 year old living at home with my parents so definitely not the ideal life I had wanted for myself. And then I just remember all of a sudden one day she just like fell off the face of the earth, no more Facebook posts, she was gone. I just assumed she had quit modeling and whatever moved on with my life.  A couple years later I came across a blog post from her which was totally random on my Facebook feed and was totally blown away.
”On the inside I was dying and broken. I weighed 95 pounds and was physically dying of an eating disorder that took over every moment of my life. I no longer had my own identity, but I had to conform to what the world wanted me to be and look like. I had no real friends, just people who wanted to use me to get ahead in their own life. I myself only wanted to use people for my own success, trying to date as many famous men as I could to get higher in my own social status and reputation. I used people and they used me. I was abused for years, raped, wounded, but it didn’t matter. My heart was broken many times, and so I broke hearts to get over the pain. I was in thousands of dollars of debt in order to uphold this “image” that no one can ever really attain to. So I stole, lied, gave my body for modeling opportunities, compromised my own morals, and cheated people in order to continue to survive. I had abandoned my family because they saw the destruction this life was causing me and I wasn’t going to listen to them. I was a secret alcoholic drinking and crying myself to sleep every night because of the hurt and pain deep within my heart that I could never express. I had thousands of “fans”, guys that thought I was the hottest thing on the earth and girls that looked up to me and I was their “idol”. That’s what I had wanted my whole life, to be known, famous, successful, having people look up to me, though I knew deep in my heart that this was never the life I would wish on anyone else. But to me, it was all I had, it was what I thought made me worthy, valuable.”  A Betrothed Bride
I feel like as soon as I saw that post it hit me you really never know what is going on behind closed doors! Here I am envious of this girl when in all reality she’s an alcoholic, been raped and abused for years, has no family or friends, in huge debt and all for what? To uphold an image? Is that what life is really about? Here I am wishing I had her life when in all reality she would probably be wishing she could have my “normal life”. Ya my life may not be the glamourous but you know what…it’s full of love, family, and friends and that’s truly the most important aspect of life! Nothing else matters! Not that fancy car you drive, not that designer purse you carry, not that mansion you love in. Without honesty, respect, family, friends, and love you have nothing!! I would say in the last couple months I have grown so much. After my miscarriage and then losing my Granny, I realized I would give up all the money in the world and all these stupid materialistic things in order to have my loved ones back, in order to give birth to that beautiful baby I never had the pleasure of meeting. None of that “stuff” matters to me! What matters to me most is the health and well-being of my family. With that I have decided no more being envious of others on the internet. No more scrolling through my newsfeed looking at mindless pictures of girls showing off their new purses, cars, whatever it may be…it brings nothing to my life. All it does is make me second guess my life and decisions and feel bad about myself. Why watch or look at something that makes you feel this way? Why bring negativity into your life? From now on I want nothing but positivity and inspiration! With that I have and am still in the process of deleting numerous accounts on my Instagram, I don’t need to look at these accounts anymore, they do nothing for me. And I will have to say in the past couple days of weeding out the “bad” accounts I am happy after looking through my Instagram, I love my feed now how it’s filled with home décor inspiration and other fitness moms like myself who are full of encouragement, they don’t bring me down, they lift me up! I hope that you take a step back in your life and think of what’s bringing happiness in your life and what’s bringing you negativity. It’s time to weed out the bad and make room for the good!

Buy or bye bye?!

Do you hate it when you go to the store and purchase a $30 product only to get home and realize it sucks!!! I definitely do and I love watching other you tubers give their honest opinions about products so today I thought I would share with you some of the products I have recently used up and would I repurchase them again or not! Enjoy!

Spring Smokey Eye Makeup look

For todays makeup look I decided to do a really pretty girly spring time Smokey eye using pinks and purples. This look can definitely be worn during the day even though it’s “Smokey” because the use of light colors will make it wearable. As always all products are mentioned in the description box of the video. Hope you guys enjoy this tutorial and thanks for your support!

Kaidens 2nd Birthday Party

I can’t believe my sweet boy is 2 years old already! I know it’s so cliché to say but I feel like as soon as you have kids time just seriously flies by! To me Kaiden will always be my little miracle baby, my 29 weeker who gave me the biggest scare ever in my life but has now turned out to be the biggest blessing in disguise. I feel like no matter how old he is I’ll always remember that day like it was yesterday and just be so proud of the sweet and intelligent boy he has now become. Seriously, thank God for technology, if it wasn’t for the amazing research and technology we have today, I wouldn’t have my beautiful boy with me here today.

Kaiden now weighs 23lbs (4%) and is 32in long (16%). According to the Doctor he is still tiny but to us, considering where we started, he’s so big! Kaiden is such a good boy, he’s so sweet, gentle with babies, and loves to read. He is by far the best eater ever, this kid will seriously eat anything and everything. A lot of our friends say as soon as they start talking and get a little older then their eating habits change and the pickiness will start. I really hope not, my daughter is the pickiest eater ever, and it drives me crazy. Kaiden loves everything from chips and salsa, sushi, to chicken and beans with vegetables. It’s so nice going to a restaurant and not having to worry if there’s going to be something on the menu that he’ll eat. Kaiden is definitely a daddy’s boy, he would way rather be hanging out with my husband and playing with trucks then having anything to do with me. It does make me sad at times, but I’m so grateful he has an amazing father figure in his life that I really can’t complain. Besides always wanting to be with his dad he is also obsessed with gas pumps and old gasoline signs. I know this isn’t normal at all but as you can kinda see in the picture above when that’s what your daddy collects then that’s the only thing your exposed to and so it becomes an obsession of my sons as well. Which makes my husband thrilled, he definitely wants a son who has the same interests as him so he can pass down this huge collection. Besides collecting gas pumps with daddy Kaiden also loves playing in his water table and pool outside or making jumps outta books for all his monster trucks. I wouldn’t trade this sweet beautiful boy for anything in the world, he really does make my husband and I so happy and brings so much joy to our lives!!
Because Kaiden is so into trucks, this year we decided to go for a truck/construction themed birthday party. So of course last year I started pinning stuff right away to get ideas. I didn’t want to go to crazy though this year on decorations and party favors, because to be honest, you end up spending so much money on the presentation and no one even remembers later on. So this year I kept it to a minimum but still added my own little personal touch to it.
 Motor oil soda labels
 “Fueling station” for drinks
 “Equipment and Supplies” for plates, napkins, and cups
 “STOP refuel here” and then “Crew Punch”
 Licorice was “2×4’s”
 Oreos were “spare tires”
 Grapes were “Wrecking balls”
 Veggie Straws were “Pipes”
 Doritos munchies were “Nuts and Bolts”
A lot of my pintable’s were made by my talented and creative sister in law, Jaimie, she’s amazing when it comes to PowerPoint, with I was talented like that. Then I just went to the Dollar Tree and bought 99c frames and painted them yellow to match the orange and yellow theme of the party. I did get some of my printable off Pinterest. If you just search “construction party free printables” then you will find a couple options. If your not creative then you can also search on etsy for tons of ideas at a fair price. I found this really neat blog when searching Pinterest and this is where I got the food labels, water bottle labels, cupcake toppers, and invitation template so you should check her out.
For Kaidens cake I just made him his own special chocolate cake and then put some little tractors on top. I dug a little bit out of the cake in one corner then placed it in another like a lil mound of dirt. Super simple and easy to make yet goes perfect with the theme. I found these little tractor at Party City in the favors section for only a couple dollars and now Kaiden can play with them after.
For everyone else I made Pudding filled dirt cupcakes. This was also super simple and easy to make plus saved me a ton of money instead of having professional cupcakes or a cake made and everybody still loved them. See you don’t have to spend a fortune to have a good party!
For entertainment Kaiden already has a ton of Tonka trucks and tractors so we just went to Home Depot and bought more sand and made a huge sandbox for all the kids to get dirty and play around. Everybody loved it and it kept them entertained the whole 3 hours. Normally I do a jumpy, but this year we decided to cut back on cost, so I was so nervous the kids would be bored. Huge success though!
My sweet triplet nieces
Kaiden ended up getting sick during his party! Never fails right…kids always get sick for birthdays or holidays! We still tried to make the best of it though, but poor little guy just didn’t want to play or eat his cake. All he wanted to do was take a nap so we sped along the cake and present opening process. As we sang him Happy Birthday he just looked at us like we’re crazy and then just proceeded to play with the trucks in the cake instead of eat it. Oh well, maybe next year we’ll get more of a reaction out of him.
Then it came time for presents, luckily I had asked for gift cards or cash so we could buy Kaiden his big boy bed so there wasn’t that many presents to open. How adorable is this bed for a boy who loves trucks?!!
Of course all his presents were more trucks and hot wheels! I didn’t expect anything less A boy can never have to many trucks!
It was such a great party and once again Thank You to everyone who came and helped make this day extra special for my little guy!